Metagaming and the DM’s conundrum

            For those who don’t know, Metagaming is a player using his knowledge to dictate his character’s actions. This is usually used in reference to a Tabletop RPG, but actually could be used in any game where you are portraying a character.

Most DMs tell everyone that they have a 0 tolerance policy on metagaming, but that is not true. Even if he swears on his mother’s life, a DM always allows a small bit of metagaming. Sometimes he doesn’t notice it until after it’s happened, sometimes he just doesn’t mind. But it always happens.

I personally don’t mind metagaming between players in order to help someone roleplay. For instance: Player A just received a vital piece of information but didn’t quite grasp how important it was. He learned that a group of assassins is coming to town in a few days. The next session the player has completely forgotten that the coming group is assassins. Shortly after meeting the group, Player B suggests ambushing the assassins as they sleep. His character has no idea who these men are, but the other character does. So it stands to reason that he might come up with this plan, even if his player did not.

My players have a habit of starting metagaming sentences with “Of course I’m not there, so I can’t affect the situation, but…” It reminds the other players that anything they suggest isn’t happening unless someone else’s character makes the connection, but it allows them to be part of scenes that their characters aren’t.

This is the good side of metagaming.

Now for the bad side… And my own desire to reckless metagame.

In my group I am sometimes a player and sometimes a DM. As a player I enjoy splitting the party, my character scouting ahead or falling back to protect the others. As a DM I enjoy splitting the party because it gives the players cool roleplay moments and helps the characters feel more like a team instead of conjoined twins(always stuck together). But the teams of each campaign are so vastly different.

My character (Damasei) has suggested many times that the party split for sound tactical reasons, or in an effort to spare his party having to deal with the Devils he associates with, but he’s always shot down. As a player I’ve only been split from the main party once, and it was a result of them being adamant about sticking together! (DMs love messing with your plans almost as much as you love messing with theirs.)

As a DM my party has split at least 4 or 5 times that I remember. I’ve never asked them to split(though I don’t discourage it) and they always seem to do it out of curiosity about what’s down 2 hallways. This may be my fault for giving too many options as a DM, but the larger issue isn’t that they split… It’s that they only split when I’m not playing!

A huge part of me wants to just have Damasei become a selfish bastard and say “I’m going this way, you guys are on your own” and see what happens. But that isn’t in his character to do so. It also would derail the campaign as Damasei is the current focal point for the next adventure(The DM likes focusing on characters for a time).

Of all the advice I’ve found on DMing, the only piece on splitting the party is: Don’t. The gaming world seems to think it can’t be done without resulting in TPK or something equally as horrible. But I’ve seen it done well many times, and I am tactical enough to know it can end with minimal damage if the party is willing to plan first.

The same goes for metagaming: Don’t. No DM I’ve ever spoken to will admit to metagaming having a place in RPGs.

Why am I the only person to think these things can be good? Why can no one help me with my problem without telling me my whole playstyle is wrong? All I want is advice on getting my players to treat my ideas as sound when I’m a player, instead of playing like my character isn’t all that smart.

I realized long ago that I still need work as a DM, and I understand when my players don’t like something I put together, but as a player I don’t know what else I can do. It is a conundrum.